Птица Додо отличается умом, сообразительностью и большими глазами
Вот эта фигня сегодня сожрала мой моск х))) я почти выржал легкие х))
1) 15 Facts Lee Sooman Doesn't Know About Super Junior by meiface (взято отсюда и без спроса)
Super Junior (M), bandfic, PG-13, 350 words
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01. The only people who have Kibum's new phone number are Heechul, Donghae, and Kyuhyun.
02. Henry has a crush on Amber because, ten minutes after meeting her, she tells him she's a Geng fan.
03. Shindong once flushed Yesung's toothbrush down the toilet in a fit of anger.
04. Siwon fills his drawers with polka-dotted boxers and heart-covered boxers, but he usually only wears a pair of loose pajama bottoms with nothing underneath to bed.
05. Zhou Mi is in love with Kyuhyun. (He's never going to say anything.)
06. Kangin has a row of bottles lined up behind his bathroom mirror that he looks at every day because he doesn't know how to say help me. (Eeteuk cries when he finds them, but he promises not to tell. The bottles remain unopened.)
07. Donghae is responsible for over half the pictures on the refrigerator door. He's not a half bad artist, which is why all the drawings have to be taken down before camera crews show up in their dorm. (Donghae went through a period where he refused to draw anything but long-haired, half-naked mermaids.)
08. Eeteuk once got a girl pregnant, while he was a trainee, but she lost the baby before he worked up the nerve to tell anyone.
09. When he's bored, Kyuhyun likes to send his hyungs dirty text messages at the most inopportune times. He's made Eunhyuk laugh on Sukira twice now and is responsible for Hankyung having to reshoot two scenes.
10. Yesung sleeps in Ryeowook's bed every night Ryeowook's in China and at least half the nights when he's not.
11. Sungmin kissed Sunny once, when he was drunk.
12. Eunhyuk's room is spotlessly clean and organized so he can tell instantly if anyone's been in his room without his permission. (He always checks his carefully hidden porn stash first, after he locks the door. No one's found it yet.)
13. Heechul lets Donghae get away with everything because he was in love with Jessica when Donghae was dating her.
14. Ryeowook once left vicious anonymous replies to fans hating on Henry and Zhou Mi and made a girl cry. He doesn't regret it.
15. Hankyung is married.
2) Title: Eeteuk Knows (отсюда)
Author: cho_min
Rating: PG (for making out on a couch)
Paring(s): overtly: Sichul, if you squint: Yewook, and Kyumin
Inspiration: I was having a conversation with my friend about tinfoil (yes, I'm serious) and naturally I felt the need to ask whether the shiny side goes on the inside or the outside of an alien protection hat. My friend's answer was unsatisfactory, so I had Eeteuk come up with a better one. And then the rest of the fic wrote itself while I wasn't looking.
Genre: um... I'm going to say general, because there isn't really a genre for this kind of badness
Comments: This fic is completely pointless. Like, seriously. No plot, no point, just sheer questioning. I have no idea what I was thinking when I started it, but I was probably thinking about the same thing when I ended it, because it stays pointless the whole way through. That said, enjoy^^
Summary: Eeteuk knows everything, and the boys take advantage of that fact.
читать дальшеThe boys of super junior had come to the conclusion, long ago, that their fearless leader, Eeteuk, knew everything. Not in a, ”know-it-all, I’ll prove you wrong if you make any sort of mistake” kind of way, but in a “if you ask me a question, I’ll tell you the answer”, kind of way. As such, Eeteuk was the first one any of the boys went to if they had a problem.
Donghae burst into the room, holding a roll of tinfoil in one hand, and looking entirely frantic.
“Eeteuk-hyung!” he yelled, despite the fact that Eeteuk was sitting in right in front of him, making yelling entirely unnecessary and possibly quite dangerous, “Eunhyuk said that aliens can read my brain waves all the way up in space and then he said that tinfoil could stop it and then he said I should make a hat, only then he left and I don’t know whether to put the shiny side on the outside or the inside!”
“Outside.” Came the calm reply.
“Oh.” Donghae paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem” and Eeteuk went back to reading his book.
“Eeteuk!” Hankyung called through the door, “May I come in for a moment?”
“Of course,” Eeteuk called back, setting his book aside once more, “What can I do for you?”
“Donghae used all the tinfoil making some sort of hat, which he said you said was okay, so I’m not going to argue that, but I’ll need tinfoil to cover the baking sheet if I’m going to bake cookies.” Hankyung explained.
“Make muffins instead.” Eeteuk suggested.
“Oh.” Hankyung paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk replied with a smile.
“Eeteuk! Eeteuk! Eeteuk! Eeteuk! Eeteuk! Eeteuk! Eeteu-“
“I’m in my room, Sungmin!” Eeteuk interrupted Sungmin’s yelling.
“Oh.” Sungmin burst into the room, “Eeteuk!”
“What is it, Sungminnie?” Eeteuk asked, setting his book aside for the third time.
“Hankyung said he was going to make cookies, so I told Princess Bubblegum Bunnyface the seventh that we would have cookies later, only now Hankyung isn’t making cookies anymore because you told him to make muffins because Donghae used all the tinfoil because you told him to make a hat! So now I have to tell Princess Bubblegum Bunnyface the second that we don’t get cookies, and instead we get muffins, but she has her mouth set on cookies and so muffins just won’t do probably.” Sungmin pouted.
“ Well, for the record, I never told Donghae to make a hat. Eunhyuk told Donghae to make a hat. But at any rate, would you like me to break the bad news to Princess Bubblegum Bunnyface the seventh, and see if she’ll do with muffins?” Eeteuk asked, smiling lightly at the things he was willing to do for his dongsaengs.
Sungmin held out a rather grubby looking bunny wearing a tiara. Eeteuk cleared his throat.
“Um, Princess, I’m sorry to have to say this but, I’m afraid there won’t be any cookies today. You see, Donghae used all the tinfoil making a hat to protect his brainwaves from the aliens, so Hankyung couldn’t use it to cover the baking sheet. But, the good news is, Hankyung is making muffins instead, and I’m sure if you asked nicely, he would make some of them chocolate chip, so they would be almost like cookies anyway.” Eeteuk explained to the entirely uninterested bunny.
“Oh.” Sungmin paused for a moment, having not thought of chocolate chip muffins, “thanks.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk laughed, turning back to his book.
“Eeteuk-hyung?” a small voice asked from behind Eeteuk.
“Yes, Ryeowook?” Eeteuk replied, again setting his book aside, wondering idly why he bothered to pick it up in the first place.
“Um, well, I was going to melt some chocolate chips so I could have chocolate covered cherries, but Hankyung is using my chocolate chips to make muffins? So...I don’t know what to do.” Ryeowook finished, rather lamely.
“Eat cherries without chocolate?” Eeteuk suggested, raising one eyebrow.
“Oh.” Ryeowook paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk smiled, watching Ryeowook leave the room, idly wondering who would be next.
“Eeteuk!” the whine came just as Eeteuk expected.
“Yes, Yesung? What is it?” Eeteuk sighed.
“I wanted a cherry, but Ryeowook said that Hankyung already took his chocolate chips, so he wasn’t going to share his cherries, but I don’t think I should have to suffer for something Hankyung did, and technically it’s all your fault, because you told Minnie to tell him to use the chocolate chips in the first place.” Yesung explained, pouting at Eeteuk.
“Tell Ryeowook I said he had to share, and I’ll buy him some chocolate chips later.” Eeteuk said.
“Oh.” Yesung paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk repeated what was quickly becoming his mantra of the day.
“Hyung!” Shindong this time.
“Yes?” Eeteuk asked, turning in his seat to face his dongsaeng.
“Ryeowook was forced to share his cherries, so I thought I would have one, only then Heechul said I couldn’t, because I was already too fat.” Shindong said, looking on the verge of tears.
“Tell Heechul to knock it off, and go have a cherry.” Eeteuk said, smiling at Shindong.
“Oh.” Shindong paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk said, knowing instinctively that Heechul would be in any minute.
“Yah! Eeteuk!” Sure enough, Heechul burst into the room less than a minute later.
“What can I do for you, Heechul?” Eeteuk asked wearily.
“What gives you the right to give Shindong the right to tell me off? I’m his hyung! He should show me the proper respect! Besides which, I was only trying to be helpful.” Heechul ranted.
“Why don’t you go bug Siwon?” Eeteuk suggested.
“Oh.” Heechul paused for a moment. “Okay.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk called after Heechul, annoyed that the other hadn’t thought to thank him, and hoping that Siwon was in a complacent mood.
“Hyung?” apparently he wasn’t.
“Yes, Siwon?” Eeteuk sighed once more.
“Did you tell Heechul to come bug me?” Siwon asked.
“Yes.” Eeteuk decided on the direct approach.
“Oh.” Siwon paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem?” Eeteuk asked, thrown off by the lopsided grin on Siwon’s face as the younger man left.
“Eeteuk-hyung!” this was Kyuhyun.
“Yes?” Eeteuk asked , wondering what it could possibly be this time.
“Heechul and Siwon are making out on the couch and it’s really gross.” Kyuhyun explained, sticking his tongue out for emphasis.
“Why don’t you go play in the kitchen with Minnie? Then you won’t notice.” Eeteuk suggested.
“Oh.” Kyuhyun paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk was left wondering how this could possibly backfire on him.
“Hyung?”
“Yes, Kibummie, what do you want?” Eeteuk asked.
“Sorry to bother you, but I’m trying to study in the kitchen, and Sungmin and Kyuhyun are yelling about bubblegum and bunnies or something? And I would go elsewhere, but the light is best in the kitchen right now so...” Kibum trailed off.
“Tell them I said go play outside.” Eeteuk replied, trying to keep a straight face at Kibum’s desecration of Princess Bubblegum Bunnyface the seventh’s name.
“Oh.” Kibum paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk said, a smile still playing on his lips.
“Eeteuk?” Ah, Kangin this time.
“Yes, Kangin?” Eeteuk laughed, having reached that point where it was just easier to accept that his day had become chaos than to try to fight it.
“I was sitting outside, minding my own business when suddenly Sungmin and Kyuhyun leapt out and starting playing with bunnies in my nap spot, and apparently you told Kibum to tell them to, and now my nap has been interrupted, and I can’t go back to my nap spot because it’s full of princess Bubbleface’s tea party.” Kangin muttered darkly.
“Princess Bubblegum Bunnyface the seventh.” Eeteuk corrected, “and why don’t you nap in your bed?”
“Oh.” Kangin paused for a moment, not having thought of that, “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk smiled. That had to have been everyone. Now maybe he could get some reading done.
“Eeteuk-hyung!” And that was Eunhyuk.
“Yes, Eunhyuk?”
“Ever since you told Donghae to make that alien hat, he’s been bombarding me with questions about aliens and it’s driving me crazy!” Eunhyuk cried, throwing his hands in the air in defeat.
“Well, technically you told him to make the alien hat, not me, but if you really want to avoid him, you should go sit in the living room. I’m told there’s something happening in there that Donghae will want to avoid.” Eeteuk told Eunhyuk, trying not to grin.
“Oh.” Eunhyuk paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem.”
1) 15 Facts Lee Sooman Doesn't Know About Super Junior by meiface (взято отсюда и без спроса)
Super Junior (M), bandfic, PG-13, 350 words
читать дальше
01. The only people who have Kibum's new phone number are Heechul, Donghae, and Kyuhyun.
02. Henry has a crush on Amber because, ten minutes after meeting her, she tells him she's a Geng fan.
03. Shindong once flushed Yesung's toothbrush down the toilet in a fit of anger.
04. Siwon fills his drawers with polka-dotted boxers and heart-covered boxers, but he usually only wears a pair of loose pajama bottoms with nothing underneath to bed.
05. Zhou Mi is in love with Kyuhyun. (He's never going to say anything.)
06. Kangin has a row of bottles lined up behind his bathroom mirror that he looks at every day because he doesn't know how to say help me. (Eeteuk cries when he finds them, but he promises not to tell. The bottles remain unopened.)
07. Donghae is responsible for over half the pictures on the refrigerator door. He's not a half bad artist, which is why all the drawings have to be taken down before camera crews show up in their dorm. (Donghae went through a period where he refused to draw anything but long-haired, half-naked mermaids.)
08. Eeteuk once got a girl pregnant, while he was a trainee, but she lost the baby before he worked up the nerve to tell anyone.
09. When he's bored, Kyuhyun likes to send his hyungs dirty text messages at the most inopportune times. He's made Eunhyuk laugh on Sukira twice now and is responsible for Hankyung having to reshoot two scenes.
10. Yesung sleeps in Ryeowook's bed every night Ryeowook's in China and at least half the nights when he's not.
11. Sungmin kissed Sunny once, when he was drunk.
12. Eunhyuk's room is spotlessly clean and organized so he can tell instantly if anyone's been in his room without his permission. (He always checks his carefully hidden porn stash first, after he locks the door. No one's found it yet.)
13. Heechul lets Donghae get away with everything because he was in love with Jessica when Donghae was dating her.
14. Ryeowook once left vicious anonymous replies to fans hating on Henry and Zhou Mi and made a girl cry. He doesn't regret it.
15. Hankyung is married.
2) Title: Eeteuk Knows (отсюда)
Author: cho_min
Rating: PG (for making out on a couch)
Paring(s): overtly: Sichul, if you squint: Yewook, and Kyumin
Inspiration: I was having a conversation with my friend about tinfoil (yes, I'm serious) and naturally I felt the need to ask whether the shiny side goes on the inside or the outside of an alien protection hat. My friend's answer was unsatisfactory, so I had Eeteuk come up with a better one. And then the rest of the fic wrote itself while I wasn't looking.
Genre: um... I'm going to say general, because there isn't really a genre for this kind of badness
Comments: This fic is completely pointless. Like, seriously. No plot, no point, just sheer questioning. I have no idea what I was thinking when I started it, but I was probably thinking about the same thing when I ended it, because it stays pointless the whole way through. That said, enjoy^^
Summary: Eeteuk knows everything, and the boys take advantage of that fact.
читать дальшеThe boys of super junior had come to the conclusion, long ago, that their fearless leader, Eeteuk, knew everything. Not in a, ”know-it-all, I’ll prove you wrong if you make any sort of mistake” kind of way, but in a “if you ask me a question, I’ll tell you the answer”, kind of way. As such, Eeteuk was the first one any of the boys went to if they had a problem.
Donghae burst into the room, holding a roll of tinfoil in one hand, and looking entirely frantic.
“Eeteuk-hyung!” he yelled, despite the fact that Eeteuk was sitting in right in front of him, making yelling entirely unnecessary and possibly quite dangerous, “Eunhyuk said that aliens can read my brain waves all the way up in space and then he said that tinfoil could stop it and then he said I should make a hat, only then he left and I don’t know whether to put the shiny side on the outside or the inside!”
“Outside.” Came the calm reply.
“Oh.” Donghae paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem” and Eeteuk went back to reading his book.
“Eeteuk!” Hankyung called through the door, “May I come in for a moment?”
“Of course,” Eeteuk called back, setting his book aside once more, “What can I do for you?”
“Donghae used all the tinfoil making some sort of hat, which he said you said was okay, so I’m not going to argue that, but I’ll need tinfoil to cover the baking sheet if I’m going to bake cookies.” Hankyung explained.
“Make muffins instead.” Eeteuk suggested.
“Oh.” Hankyung paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk replied with a smile.
“Eeteuk! Eeteuk! Eeteuk! Eeteuk! Eeteuk! Eeteuk! Eeteu-“
“I’m in my room, Sungmin!” Eeteuk interrupted Sungmin’s yelling.
“Oh.” Sungmin burst into the room, “Eeteuk!”
“What is it, Sungminnie?” Eeteuk asked, setting his book aside for the third time.
“Hankyung said he was going to make cookies, so I told Princess Bubblegum Bunnyface the seventh that we would have cookies later, only now Hankyung isn’t making cookies anymore because you told him to make muffins because Donghae used all the tinfoil because you told him to make a hat! So now I have to tell Princess Bubblegum Bunnyface the second that we don’t get cookies, and instead we get muffins, but she has her mouth set on cookies and so muffins just won’t do probably.” Sungmin pouted.
“ Well, for the record, I never told Donghae to make a hat. Eunhyuk told Donghae to make a hat. But at any rate, would you like me to break the bad news to Princess Bubblegum Bunnyface the seventh, and see if she’ll do with muffins?” Eeteuk asked, smiling lightly at the things he was willing to do for his dongsaengs.
Sungmin held out a rather grubby looking bunny wearing a tiara. Eeteuk cleared his throat.
“Um, Princess, I’m sorry to have to say this but, I’m afraid there won’t be any cookies today. You see, Donghae used all the tinfoil making a hat to protect his brainwaves from the aliens, so Hankyung couldn’t use it to cover the baking sheet. But, the good news is, Hankyung is making muffins instead, and I’m sure if you asked nicely, he would make some of them chocolate chip, so they would be almost like cookies anyway.” Eeteuk explained to the entirely uninterested bunny.
“Oh.” Sungmin paused for a moment, having not thought of chocolate chip muffins, “thanks.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk laughed, turning back to his book.
“Eeteuk-hyung?” a small voice asked from behind Eeteuk.
“Yes, Ryeowook?” Eeteuk replied, again setting his book aside, wondering idly why he bothered to pick it up in the first place.
“Um, well, I was going to melt some chocolate chips so I could have chocolate covered cherries, but Hankyung is using my chocolate chips to make muffins? So...I don’t know what to do.” Ryeowook finished, rather lamely.
“Eat cherries without chocolate?” Eeteuk suggested, raising one eyebrow.
“Oh.” Ryeowook paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk smiled, watching Ryeowook leave the room, idly wondering who would be next.
“Eeteuk!” the whine came just as Eeteuk expected.
“Yes, Yesung? What is it?” Eeteuk sighed.
“I wanted a cherry, but Ryeowook said that Hankyung already took his chocolate chips, so he wasn’t going to share his cherries, but I don’t think I should have to suffer for something Hankyung did, and technically it’s all your fault, because you told Minnie to tell him to use the chocolate chips in the first place.” Yesung explained, pouting at Eeteuk.
“Tell Ryeowook I said he had to share, and I’ll buy him some chocolate chips later.” Eeteuk said.
“Oh.” Yesung paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk repeated what was quickly becoming his mantra of the day.
“Hyung!” Shindong this time.
“Yes?” Eeteuk asked, turning in his seat to face his dongsaeng.
“Ryeowook was forced to share his cherries, so I thought I would have one, only then Heechul said I couldn’t, because I was already too fat.” Shindong said, looking on the verge of tears.
“Tell Heechul to knock it off, and go have a cherry.” Eeteuk said, smiling at Shindong.
“Oh.” Shindong paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk said, knowing instinctively that Heechul would be in any minute.
“Yah! Eeteuk!” Sure enough, Heechul burst into the room less than a minute later.
“What can I do for you, Heechul?” Eeteuk asked wearily.
“What gives you the right to give Shindong the right to tell me off? I’m his hyung! He should show me the proper respect! Besides which, I was only trying to be helpful.” Heechul ranted.
“Why don’t you go bug Siwon?” Eeteuk suggested.
“Oh.” Heechul paused for a moment. “Okay.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk called after Heechul, annoyed that the other hadn’t thought to thank him, and hoping that Siwon was in a complacent mood.
“Hyung?” apparently he wasn’t.
“Yes, Siwon?” Eeteuk sighed once more.
“Did you tell Heechul to come bug me?” Siwon asked.
“Yes.” Eeteuk decided on the direct approach.
“Oh.” Siwon paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem?” Eeteuk asked, thrown off by the lopsided grin on Siwon’s face as the younger man left.
“Eeteuk-hyung!” this was Kyuhyun.
“Yes?” Eeteuk asked , wondering what it could possibly be this time.
“Heechul and Siwon are making out on the couch and it’s really gross.” Kyuhyun explained, sticking his tongue out for emphasis.
“Why don’t you go play in the kitchen with Minnie? Then you won’t notice.” Eeteuk suggested.
“Oh.” Kyuhyun paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk was left wondering how this could possibly backfire on him.
“Hyung?”
“Yes, Kibummie, what do you want?” Eeteuk asked.
“Sorry to bother you, but I’m trying to study in the kitchen, and Sungmin and Kyuhyun are yelling about bubblegum and bunnies or something? And I would go elsewhere, but the light is best in the kitchen right now so...” Kibum trailed off.
“Tell them I said go play outside.” Eeteuk replied, trying to keep a straight face at Kibum’s desecration of Princess Bubblegum Bunnyface the seventh’s name.
“Oh.” Kibum paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk said, a smile still playing on his lips.
“Eeteuk?” Ah, Kangin this time.
“Yes, Kangin?” Eeteuk laughed, having reached that point where it was just easier to accept that his day had become chaos than to try to fight it.
“I was sitting outside, minding my own business when suddenly Sungmin and Kyuhyun leapt out and starting playing with bunnies in my nap spot, and apparently you told Kibum to tell them to, and now my nap has been interrupted, and I can’t go back to my nap spot because it’s full of princess Bubbleface’s tea party.” Kangin muttered darkly.
“Princess Bubblegum Bunnyface the seventh.” Eeteuk corrected, “and why don’t you nap in your bed?”
“Oh.” Kangin paused for a moment, not having thought of that, “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Eeteuk smiled. That had to have been everyone. Now maybe he could get some reading done.
“Eeteuk-hyung!” And that was Eunhyuk.
“Yes, Eunhyuk?”
“Ever since you told Donghae to make that alien hat, he’s been bombarding me with questions about aliens and it’s driving me crazy!” Eunhyuk cried, throwing his hands in the air in defeat.
“Well, technically you told him to make the alien hat, not me, but if you really want to avoid him, you should go sit in the living room. I’m told there’s something happening in there that Donghae will want to avoid.” Eeteuk told Eunhyuk, trying not to grin.
“Oh.” Eunhyuk paused for a moment. “Thanks.”
“No problem.”
@темы: чужое творчество, super junior, ржач